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Iโ€™ve been teaching English to a couple of my friends here, and the other day I tossed in a phrase theyโ€™d never heard before:

โ€˜Sit yo ass down.โ€™

After I said it, I realized Iโ€™d made a rather important error, so I corrected myself:

โ€˜Sit yo ass down, bitch.โ€™

I also accompanied it with a raised index finger moving side-to-side with my head moving from side-to-side at the same time, but in the opposite direction of my finger.

My friend Florence looked at me with great interest, and asked, โ€œAnd when would you use this expression?โ€

I wasnโ€™t quite sure what to tell her.

(After I said it, I realized that I probably shouldnโ€™t have since if the phrase catches on, someday in the future you might go to a cafรฉ or restaurant in Paris and the waitress will tell you to do just thatโ€ฆand youโ€™ll know who to blame.)

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16 comments

    • shea

    Oh my God! This one finally made me come out of my lurking. I just about died when i read this post. I had to hold my sides to keep them from hurting from laughing to hard. That is absolutely classic. Thereโ€™s nothing more fun than teaching American Slang to people from another country.

    • Nan

    David! Oh no, you dint.

    • Jennifer

    De-lurking here, too.
    This made me think of when I recently used the word โ€œrat bastardโ€ in front of my 13 year old son. On the one hand, it has quite a ring to it, on the other, I have a feeling itโ€™s going to be bandied about on the playground and in the locker room today.

    • Kami

    I once taught a group of Japanese high school teachers to say โ€œhowโ€™s it goinโ€™?โ€ thinking it was quite innocuousโ€ฆ watching them contort their mouths to say โ€œgoooiiiinnn'โ€ was worth the effort!
    And I think the perfect response to โ€œhow do you use โ€˜sit yo ass down, bitchโ€™?โ€ is: well, when you have some stupendous gossip to tell your friend, and you meet in the coffee shop or barโ€ฆ you sayโ€ฆ.

    • Taina

    For an encore, you can teach her about โ€œtalking to the handโ€.

    • Joy

    You are my hero.

    • Lynn T

    And here I have been listening to French language CDs in the car these last weeks in preparation for our Chocolate Extravaganza with youโ€“Iโ€™ve been studying the wrong languageโ€ฆ.

    • Sean

    Reminds me of Stripes. Son of Bitch. Shit.

    And anyway, isnโ€™t the correct phrase, โ€œSit yoโ€™ ass down, bee-yotchโ€? Or is that dialectic?

    • Gaucha Guapa

    I have a few English conversation students as well. Today I said โ€œJust spit it out!โ€ Of course one has to demonstrate when explaining the phrases. Good thing I didnโ€™t have anything in my mouthโ€ฆ

    • lynn d.

    Would you have a recipe for the bread pictured with fromage post?
    I am looking for a grainy European-style bread to do at homeโ€ฆ.Iโ€™ve made your chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies AND the fantastically healthy and yummy Friendship Bars! I am slowly working my way back through your entertaining posts!

    • Nadine

    Iโ€™m going to make this a โ€˜coming outโ€™ post as I also have been lurkingโ€ฆ

    I have you to thank for my entire culinary education, David!
    And for help with my itinerary for my upcoming trip to Paris.

    But mostly, I love your unpretentious and honest contributions.

    • reya

    My goodness. Iโ€™ll have to go with Shea and some of the other commenters. Iโ€™ve been tiptoeing through this blog for a while, and now I need to come out of hiding as well.

    That was the last thing I expected to read here.
    Hilarious!

    • Trig

    I once taught some Portugues friends of mine to swear in English. The problem is they tend to only understand the sounds and not the meaning of the individual words, so I split my sides laughing when they come out with phrases like โ€œFak yu beechโ€

    • Ms. Glaze

    Iโ€™m glad youโ€™re teaching the really important things. Donโ€™t forget, โ€œOh no you didnโ€™tโ€ (with head and finger wagging) and โ€œTalk to the wrist cause the handโ€™s too pissedโ€. I taught the later to the Chef de Cuisine at Guy Savoy. Now everyone says it! Could you work on the word โ€œbeachโ€ with your students too? Everytime I hear a French person say that it comes out โ€œbitchโ€. Kiss -Kiss, Ms. Glaze ( btw, did you read the new Chez Panisse biography!?!?!?)

    • cindym

    Iโ€™m reading the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and this reminded me of her description of teaching English phrases to some Italian friends. They loved the expression โ€œhalf-assedโ€ more than anything else. Honestly, how would you go about defining something like that?? Heh.

    • Gideon

    So, was she a bitch and did she sit her ass down?

A

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