Skip to content
0 Shares

Who remembers the good old days when if you saw someone walking down the street talking to themselves, youโ€™d think that that person was crazy?.

A short while back, it startled me to see so many people talking to themselves while walking down the street.
Why all of the sudden an influx of crazy people?
What was the world coming to?

That is, until I realized they were chatting on cell phones using indiscreet hands-free devices.
โ€œOk, theyโ€™re not crazyโ€, you think.

But from the volume of their voices, you realize theyโ€™re anything but indiscreet.
Iโ€™ve heard everything.
Business deals, surgical results, cussinโ€™, personal details of last nightโ€™s dateโ€ฆall for everyone to hear, whether we want to or not.

Then you realize, โ€œOk, they are crazy.โ€

Last time I was a Chicago Oโ€™Hare airport, riding the inter-airport shuttle between terminals, a businessman in a poly-blend yellow shirt, super-stylized wavy hair, and a JC Penney navy blazer (and Iโ€™m quite sure a gold โ€˜powerโ€™ necklace underneath it all) was literally screeching into his cell phone.
It was something about a disk.

And it was a very important disk.
So important, he made sure we all knew it.

โ€œI need that f&$cking disk. If she doesnโ€™t get that f&%cking disk to me to by tonight Iโ€™m gonnaโ€ฆand this f&$cking airline. Theyโ€™ve f%$cked up againโ€ฆ.why canโ€™t they get anything f&$%cking right.โ€

What a charmer!
(And Iโ€™m thinkingโ€ฆโ€œPlease God, donโ€™t let me be seated next to him on the plane, please Godโ€ฆIโ€™m a good person, I just bake cookies for a livingโ€ฆโ€)

I wondered if he was married, if he had any friends.
And if so, if his friends were just like he was. I couldnโ€™t imagine anyone in their right mind voluntarily spending more than 7 seconds in his presence.

You get the picture, but I mean, this asshole (pardon my French) was SCREAMING into the phone, so that even those of us huddles together in the back of the bus just to avoid him had no choice but to listen. If anyone had the nerve to say something, Iโ€™m sure they were at risk of getting punched out. The driver, who he was sitting directly behind, looked like he was going to drive the shuttle under an approaching aircraft wheels just to get this guy to shut up.

And those kind of people are always itching for a fight, thriving on any kind of confrontation with others.
And why do they always seem to be the ones getting upgraded?
(Is it because theyโ€™re such a pain in the backside to the airline employees? I bring the ticket counter people cookies, but all I ever get is a seat with a meager 4-inches of legroom, until the idiot in front of me slams their seat backwards the nano-second the Fasten Seat Belt light goes off.)

bus.jpg

Soโ€ฆthis morning Iโ€™m taking the bus to yoga. I know it seems funny to โ€˜rideโ€™ to do exercise, but I was running late.

Anyhowโ€ฆthis man of Indian-descent, whoโ€™s kinda nerdy wearing big, dark-rimmed glasses that Iโ€™m sure will be held together by white tape in a few years, is talking very LOUDLY into his mobile phoneโ€ฆ.

โ€œYes, I said Capricorn.โ€โ€ฆ..โ€Yes, CAPRICORN!โ€

Heโ€™s speaking in broken-English, and unaware that heโ€™s sharing the bus with someone who has an excellent command of the language of Shakespeare.

Then he starts shouting about how much itโ€™s been costing him to chatโ€ฆ
โ€œIt costs me 200 euros per month on my SFR billโ€ฆ.200 euros!โ€ฆyes, these calls!โ€

He finally begins winding up the conversation, saying heโ€™d like to meet the caller that afternoonโ€ฆafter his doctorโ€™s appointment, then began describing his horrible, scaly skin condition thatโ€™s running rampant over his legs and feet, prompting the medical exam.

Now thatโ€™s hot,really hot.

Thanks for sharing.

Anyhow, Iโ€™m watching CNN International last night and theyโ€™re showing images of the devastation in New Orleans, instead of the usual stories of Maddox Jolieโ€™s hairstyle or The Runaway Bride or the latest tv Bachelor-star that cable โ€œnewsโ€ is normally preoccupied with.

After showing images of overworked police and military people who have the unenviable task of wading through the flood wreckage, unearthing bodies and rescuing trapped families, the story continues on to the looting.

The CNN reporter begins interviewing a man trying to scurry away, hauling away plastic sacks of trousers heโ€™s looted from a local store.
(And no, he wasnโ€™t taking baby food for his starving children, or medicine for this elderly grandmother.)

When the reporter asks the man if he feels any guilt for what he was doing in the aftermath of this horrendous catastrophe, the man respondsโ€ฆ
โ€œIf it was wrong, the police would be stopping me, wouldnโ€™t they!โ€ฆโ€

Later I watched as the head of FEMA mentioned that workers had to stop delivering supplies to the disaster-stricken area because people were shooting at them.

Maybe itโ€™s me. I donโ€™t know.
But I think people are getting crazier.

PP2000PELYGQVJ8Q7IB.1001.04.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Click here to help others in need. Everyone, in spite of the few crazy people, need help.
Donate to the relief effort.

0 Shares

8 comments

    • Alisa

    This is very nice David โ€“ yeah for you.

    As for why the loud and obnoxious get upgrades and other perksโ€ฆitโ€™s the squeaky wheel theory.

    • Melinda

    You sound like a very nice person.
    Iโ€™d give you a hug if I could!
    This disaster has really happened to all of us, not just the people of the Gulf Coast.
    I think of all the people who have never been to New Orleans might never have a chance now.
    Good words, thanks!

    • farmgirl

    โ€œI just bake cookies for a living. . .โ€ You never fail to crack me up (and make me hungry).
    Great post. Thank you!

    • Ingredient Sleuth

    Re. the current craziness quotient:

    Mayhaps reality TVโ€™s dog-eat-dog approach to everything from high finance to baking cookies has something to do with it?

    Why canโ€™t they just let we dogs eat the cookies and be happy?

    • Lil

    reminds me of this conversation i overheard of this guy telling his friend he was drunk the night before and pee-ed at the back of the busโ€ฆ gross! seriously, toooooo much info!

    by the way, youโ€™re sooooooo nice to bring cookies for the airline peopleโ€ฆ :)

    • Meg

    Iโ€™ve been thinking the same thing, David: they are getting crazier. The BBC had a story about snipers stopping the evacuation of a hospital and how looters were holding up hospital staff at gunpoint. What a world.

    Oh and as for things-one-hears-on-public-transport, my favourite was hearing a couple of Scots in a suburb of Munich discussing their drug habits. Loved the looks on their faces as I turned and politely said โ€œHave a lovely evening, guys!โ€ as I stepped off the train!

    • David

    Reminds me of David Sedaris talking about how he was riding the mรƒยฉtro here in Paris and these Americans started talking about him (thinking he was French). One was saying how ugly he was, then the other person said something about him smelling funky!

    And thatโ€™s an interesting point about reality shows making everything, from dating to getting married to baking cookies, a competition. Thatโ€™s why I donโ€™t pay much attention to those professional pastry & cooking competitionsโ€ฆI donโ€™t think cooking, and eating, are really โ€˜competitive activitiesโ€™!

    • Rachael

    I saw that guy tooโ€ฆit was quite the odd answer. Not nearly as odd as the people running off with plasma screen televisions thoughโ€ฆconsidering they have no electricity, or HOMESโ€ฆsigh.

A

Get David's newsletter sent right to your Inbox!

15987

Sign up for my newsletter and get my FREE guidebook to the best bakeries and pastry shops in Paris...