Is Paris An Airplane?

…it’s a challenge to get through to the person you really need to speak to on the phone.

…the amount of documentation you need seems excessive.

…when there’s a screw up, there’s no one to complain to.

…all the workers act like they can’t be fired—because they can’t.

…you’re sure the folks up ahead of you are getting better treatment.

…there aren’t nearly enough bathrooms.

…getting a refund is impossible.

…most improvements don’t quite work out as expected.

…sticking your hand in the seat pocket in front of you can be a risky proposition.

…the person in front of you doesn’t care about the person behind them.

…you don’t listen to safety warnings.

…you spend all your time eating, or anticipating eating.

…you wonder “How do they get anything done in those tiny kitchens?”

…you eat things you normally wouldn’t.

…you can’t return food if it’s not cooked to your liking.

…rice is served with almost everything.

…alcohol is crucial for survival.

…the seats are too small.

…you worry the person who’s going to sit next to you may stink.

…you realize the person who just sat down next to you stinks.

…you can’t (or don’t want to) sit down in the bathrooms.

…the sinks are uselessly small.

…the soap stinks to high heaven.

…the floor is icky.

…you realize that the person in front of you didn’t think that “As a courtesy to the next passenger” applied to them.

…the coffee is undrinkable.

…the pillows are too thin.

…no one really cares if you’re comfortable or not.

…the most direct route is often impossible to find to get to where you want to go.

…no one uses the ashtrays.

…the only fresh air is outside.

…it’s interdit to open any windows.

…it’s either too hot or too cold.

…it’s every man for himself.

…the people next to you expect you to listen to them, whether you want to or not.

…you look around and wonder who chooses some of those color schemes.

…you see a lot of exposed skin that would be better covered up.

…the help looks better than the guests.

…there’s always a movie showing with Gerard Depardieu. Or Sharon Stone.

…sex is no big deal.